Facts, Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic...
Facts
Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:

Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.

Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.

At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.

A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.

The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

  1. melenafrey reblogged this from thewinterwidow
  2. i-love-you-eight-days-a-week reblogged this from sam-licker95
  3. thewinterwidow reblogged this from quibbler-
  4. siriusstring reblogged this from thorsies
  5. sam-licker95 reblogged this from girlwiththelionsmane
  6. msgeniuspa reblogged this from rainpoureddown
  7. timbertomworld reblogged this from j4ya
  8. maddymagellan reblogged this from potterphiliac
  9. gaylittlezombiebaby reblogged this from my-potato-has-47-assholes
  10. moefroyogurt reblogged this from being-a-social-faux-pas
  11. thedoors-ofperception reblogged this from slender-avenger
  12. diamondonian reblogged this from j4ya
  13. acertainmaybe reblogged this from brokendaisychains
  14. newtslayer reblogged this from narrev
  15. ag-likethemetal reblogged this from being-a-social-faux-pas
  16. being-a-social-faux-pas reblogged this from timelordonbakerstreet
  17. tylerhoechles reblogged this from keahukahuanui
  18. deaths-ducklings reblogged this from dottenator
  19. silverheart7 reblogged this from cries-havoc
  20. narrev reblogged this from pandanon
  21. pandanon reblogged this from dottenator
  22. its-my-inner-fangirl reblogged this from hamletrash
  23. dr-sherlock-winchester-odinson reblogged this from potterphiliac
  24. potterphiliac reblogged this from stilinskiswhoremouth
  25. thisquieterlove reblogged this from hamletrash
  26. happymacaron reblogged this from 23soaringabove23
  27. hamletrash reblogged this from princeowl
  28. trenchcoat-assassin reblogged this from thesammiwich
  29. 23soaringabove23 reblogged this from nefariousalpaca
  30. lamborpanini reblogged this from thesammiwich
  31. thesammiwich reblogged this from kirkendauhl
  32. nefariousalpaca reblogged this from howlsrnovingblog
  33. casbuttiel reblogged this from dottenator
  34. whalsrgood reblogged this from thefaultinourpages
  35. xdarkxfairyx reblogged this from fiftyshadesoffuckoff
Blog comments powered by Disqus