Thank you to the 30 some people who have written demanding further information, here are the details and and an account regarding the sources for the bill:
The rider to H.R. 4210 was written by John Boehner (R-OH) and affixed on Friday, May 4th 2012. Its complete text reads:
“A provision shall be made by each state to allow any elected or appointed member of the Federal or State legislative body awarding them the privilege of “Droit du Seigneur,” defined herein as the right to devirginize the wife of any citizen should the marriage occur within their legislative jurisdiction before the husband is allowed to fulfill his own marital rights.
This right shall be enforced by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (Hereafter referred to as the FBI) and an annual budgetary allowance of no less than $45,000,000 will be granted to said body no later than Jan 1st 2013 for that purpose; The funding for which shall be removed from the “Women’s Health” budget of Subsection 18-B, specifically the allocation for rape shelters and trauma counseling.
Furthermore, punishments for obstructing the carrying out of conjugal rights between any government employee shall bear a minimum mandatory sentence of no less than ten years in a federal penitentiary and a fine of no less than $500,000. Any man who denies the right of the government employee to precede him in conjugal rights shall be divorced from her in accordance with Subsection 33 of the Magna Carta.
Provisions shall be made at the state level to ensure that no mixed race coupling may occur as a result of this law, and should any wife of Caucasian descent be devirginized by a government official of mixed race, or of African or Hispanic descent, said employee will be held accountable to a fine of no less than $60,000 and expulsion from their employment; Furthermore any child resulting from such a coupling must be deported as per Dred Scott v. Sandford, 60 U.S. 393 (1857). The husband shall also be rewarded with reparations to the count of no less than $400 and one mule. The wife shall be executed forthwith for her abominations.
Funding for PBS shall also be withheld until such time as their programming includes one hour per diem of educational programming designed to foster public acceptance of the above procedures, this programming shall be made with the funding they are currently allotted.”
So there you have it, the complete sexist, racist, civil rights annihilating law.
As for the matter of sources: How dare you ask me for sources. This blog has made a reputation for itself as the foremost news outlet on tumblr. I was the first tumblr to report the terrorist attacks on 9/11, the first tumblr to report the sinking of the Titanic (In real time I might add!) and the only blog on the entire internet that’s reported with full disclosure about the Chinese led assassination of the Dalai Lama last month.
My sources are for the most part anonymous, but several regularly unnamed friends of the blog who supplied this breaking news have seen the unjust outcry for sources and have allowed me to state here their names and what they’ve done to deliver this story of utmost social importance to you all:
-Joseph Bruce and Joseph Utsler, who observed the House in action, filmed and recorded the proceedings at great personal risk while hanging from the Nancy Reagan memorial Chandelier; Then smuggled the footage out, all seven 35mm reels within their rectal cavities while suffering from amoebic dysentery.
-Popular news anchor Father Guido Sarducci, who remains in jail at the Vatican for his valiant feats in transferring the contents of the bill to our tumblr offices in Cypress.
-Dale D. Daleson, deceased, who was betrayed and crucified by Nancy Pelosi and Steni Hoyer for refusing to publicly denounce this fact blog, and who arose after the third day to harrow the damned from the House Subcommittee on Unrepresented Taxation.
I hope you’ll all remember those names, those of you who so vainly demanded that I source my claims like a common college student or scientist. Now that I’ve played slave to all your whims, please, I implore you to share what you’ve read here. Call your local senators, representatives and the media. Spread the word and we may yet defend ourselves against this unjust and heinous law.
Remember- It’s a slippery slope from here to something you all care about- Like BitTorrent. Imagine if they used this as a precedent to listen to your mp3s before you do.
IT COULD HAPPEN!!!