And once for the day crowd…
The sun, like an onion or ogre, has several layers.
The outermost layer visible from Earth is made of eye pain. This bright bluish white substance is a mixture of high energy photos, ultraviolet radiation, and the rage of Apollo. All of these substances are comprised of Anti-Gravity particles so they fly away from the sun at high speed and into your eyes.
How do they find your eyes though? That’s all Layer 2- The navigation layer. This is where the sun, using an advanced computer believed to have been supplied by Steve Jobs himself, can determine exactly where the sun visors in your car or on your hat end. Thus the horrific eye pain can always find your corneas and slink into them like burning needles, or at least burn your skin should your eyes be properly concealed.
Beneath that layer the science gets fuzzy. Some suggest that Layer 3 is a sort of molten cake batter or fondue. Others believe the scriptures and attribute subsequent layers to housing and office space for the gods. I don’t personally claim to know the answer to these great riddles of the universe, but I do know that whatever it is wants you to vote for Ross Perot.
My god does anyone remember that guy? I just wanted to make a joke about how people claim to know the religious views of god or jesus or whatnot but that man was a joke in and of himself.
This guy ran for president. Seriously:

